he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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