I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That was an excessively violent trivia night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
wow bdsm is so cute
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