Cold hands, warm shart.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
