Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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