I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
