so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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