maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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