you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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