is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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