i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When are your genitals available?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
