ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize