Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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