Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
