So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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