Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
