No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize