Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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