his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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