sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
