he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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