Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
