her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
