I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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