no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
