i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
