What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
