this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
