weddingsv make me drug and hornr
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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