I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
