the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
