Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
