if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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