my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My bed smells like the plague
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
