windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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