Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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