So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
