This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
