dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Im part way to drunk.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
