Taylor Swift is so right about you.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize