about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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