Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
