i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
