well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize