I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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