wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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