i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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