the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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