You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
