People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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