just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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