I will die if light touches me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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