There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
