She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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