After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
