Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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