it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
