Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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