I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
