i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
