dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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