my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize