He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
