How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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