On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
