i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
