Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
