what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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