I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
