my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
