Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
