Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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