My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
